His Little Reminders

Scars are usually a reminder of pain and hurt. I have scars. But mine are symbols of God's goodness and faithfulness. A year ago today I was forced to come face-to-face with all of my worst fears (minus spiders), and I have three little reminders to prove it. But instead of being filled with fear, I was rejoicing. Instead of yielding to my anxiety and letting it consume me, I chose to rely on the Lord and let his everlasting peace saturate me.

A year ago I had a stomach ache, that turned into a fever, that resulted in a long night in the emergency room. In less than 24 hours I was in the hospital, had blood drawn, had an IV, got sick, got put under, and had surgery. I had my best friend by my side, and best of all, I had God with me every step of the way. I woke up one day with an appendix and the next day didn't.

I vividly remember laying in the gurney in the hallway waiting to go into the O.R. The nurses who were prepping the room were rocking out to oldies, and my anesthesiologist, William Shakespeare (no joke. That was his real name), was making me laugh. All this all helped to lighten my mood. But when everyone walked away to do their job, I was left alone, lying in the stretcher, in the hallway, at 2 am.

But I was not alone. I had never felt closer to God. Even though it was a routine procedure, there was still a possibility that I would never wake up again. And I was okay with that. For the first time in my life I was able to look death and my fears straight in the face with no apprehension. Why? Because I knew that no matter what happened to me, I was safe. I knew that everything in this life is temporal, and the only thing that really mattered was the eternal. I knew (and still know) that there's no need to fear death because I have absolute certainty that I will spend eternity in Heaven with Jesus.

So, with that perspective, while laying in the hallway, I began to sing. I sang out of the joy that was overflowing from my heart, from the love that God was pouring over me. I sang as an expression of the salvation I had found in Jesus. I sang praises to God and felt peace abound. I remember singing the chorus to a song I had heard the day before, my eyes fixed on the wall at the end of the hallway, tears flowing from my eyes, heart bursting with peace. "And all of Creation sing with me now, lift up your voice and lay your burden down. All of Creation sing with me now, fill up the heavens let His glory resound." In lifting up my voice to the Creator, I laid my burdens at the feet of the cross and let God's glory resound in the hospital and in my heart.

Now, a year later, every time I see my three little scars I am reminded of God's goodness. I am reminded of God's peace. I am reminded that the love of Christ casts out all fears. When I see my scars I see what God has done in my life and how he has redeemed me. I see how God has saved me. I see how God loves me. When I look at my scars, I see God...